¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is bein

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-23 296

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies. People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
The verdict varies on societies. Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence. In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. 'Twas a great talk with you today! Keep being conversant! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
>>> I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is to give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happening around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. 
>>> CORRECT
Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
>>> Democratic societies have been controlled by the national law that is  believed to be the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
 People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
>>> CORRECT
The verdict varies on societies.
>>> CORRECT
 Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence.
>>>  Korea is well known with lenient laws even if criminals committed serious offences.
 In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.
>>>  In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from heavy sentence.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111180 If you were a medical student during the time of the pandemic,... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 207
111179 17th homewokr Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 3
111178 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111177 Writing task: What are the best ways to make a good first... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111176 Things for School ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 177
111175 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 3
111174 Do you think you will live until a ripe old age? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111173 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 199
111172 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 8
111171 21/08/24 ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 208
111170 Korea to consider animals not things À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111169 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111168 The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 197
111167 How do you imagine your country\'s healthcare ranks compared to... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 276
111166 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 1
111165 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 0
111164 In your opinion, what are the pros and cons of studying at home? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 2
111163 What kind of business do you want to establish? Share your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-24 224
111162 I don\'t know if it\'s right to do homework like this ^^;; ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 208
111161 What are the signs in your body that says you are getting older? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04