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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is bein

작성자: 황*하
2021-09-23 471

회원님의 영작문

I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies. People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
The verdict varies on societies. Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence. In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Mr. Hwang. 'Twas a great talk with you today! Keep being conversant! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happened around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
>>> I don't believe that the most effective way to prevent crime is to give heavy sentence because there are still a lot of serious cases happening around the world every day, although most countries have strong punishment in their law. 
I agree that fears are one of the factors which people consider when they are involved in crime but if criminals have no choice to manage their life, they don't consider any penalties when they are planning to commit crime. 
>>> CORRECT
Democratic societies have been controlled by national law that would be believed the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
>>> Democratic societies have been controlled by the national law that is  believed to be the most powerful and the best way to keep our societies.
 People directly or indirectly agree to live under the control but everybody knows that it can't prevent all crime in their country due to the defect of laws.
>>> CORRECT
The verdict varies on societies.
>>> CORRECT
 Korea is well known with light sentence even if criminals committed serious offence.
>>>  Korea is well known with lenient laws even if criminals committed serious offences.
 In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from the heavy sentence.
>>>  In addition, people believe laws are not for the citizens because it seems that rich people can avoid from heavy sentence.
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