¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing part1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*Áø
2021-09-24 1130

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you~

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Shin!

This very informative. The corrections I gave here are mostly on the incomplete words and the missing articles. If you will have any questions, feel free to send me a message or ask me in class. ^^ Have a great day!

~Elica~

The two table charts illustrate the changes in the proportion of the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the two different year and in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden.

>> The two table charts illustrate the changes in the proportion of the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the two different years and in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden. 

 

 Overall, it is clear that both UK and Switzerland showed dramatically increase in two categories. 

>>Overall, it is clear that both UK and Switzerland showed a dramatic increase in two categories. 

However, the rest of countries marginally went up and, rather, Sweden and Denmark experienced a slight decrease in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled banana.

>>However, the rest of the countries marginally went up, and, rather, Sweden and Denmark experienced a slight decrease in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas.

 

  Looking at the graphs more closely, one can see that the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in UK and Switzerland were 1.5 million and 3 million in 1994, but they drastically rose to 20 million and 6 million respectively in 2004. 

>> Looking at the graphs more closely, one can see that the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in the UK and Switzerland were 1.5 million and 3 million in 1994, but they drastically rose to 20 million and 6 million respectively in 2004.

The rest three countries insignificantly increased by 0.2 to 0.7 million in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee. 

>>The other three countries insignificantly increased by 0.2 to 0.7 million in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee.

When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled banana, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland. 

>>When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland.

Nevertheless, surprisingly, there were the only two countries that showed a decline. 

>>CORRECT

One of them was Sweden, which slightly dropped in 2004 and another was Denmark, which roughly halved from 2 million in 1994 to 0.9 million in 2004. 

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114945 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 548
114944 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 463
114943 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114942 Why do you think eating fish is good for you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114941 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114940 What worry do you have nowadays? What good advice can you give... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 391
114939 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 393
114938 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 374
114937 home work(¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 802
114936 What offers do you always refuse? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 394
114935 What game I play with my mom ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 713
114934 What is the importance of having a close relationship with your... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114933 If Korea getting together ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 722
114932 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 0
114931 Koreans to go back into lockdown À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114930 What do you enjoy about family reunions? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 650
114929 What is the difference between complaining and nagging? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 0
114928 Try and Choose ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 663
114927 dESIGN apen for a panda À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 3
114926 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 837

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04