¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

writing part1

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*Áø
2021-09-24 1114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you~

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Shin!

This very informative. The corrections I gave here are mostly on the incomplete words and the missing articles. If you will have any questions, feel free to send me a message or ask me in class. ^^ Have a great day!

~Elica~

The two table charts illustrate the changes in the proportion of the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the two different year and in UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden.

>> The two table charts illustrate the changes in the proportion of the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in the two different years and in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden. 

 

 Overall, it is clear that both UK and Switzerland showed dramatically increase in two categories. 

>>Overall, it is clear that both UK and Switzerland showed a dramatic increase in two categories. 

However, the rest of countries marginally went up and, rather, Sweden and Denmark experienced a slight decrease in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled banana.

>>However, the rest of the countries marginally went up, and, rather, Sweden and Denmark experienced a slight decrease in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas.

 

  Looking at the graphs more closely, one can see that the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in UK and Switzerland were 1.5 million and 3 million in 1994, but they drastically rose to 20 million and 6 million respectively in 2004. 

>> Looking at the graphs more closely, one can see that the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in the UK and Switzerland were 1.5 million and 3 million in 1994, but they drastically rose to 20 million and 6 million respectively in 2004.

The rest three countries insignificantly increased by 0.2 to 0.7 million in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee. 

>>The other three countries insignificantly increased by 0.2 to 0.7 million in the sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee.

When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled banana, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland. 

>>When it comes to the sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas, likewise, surges were seen in UK and Switzerland.

Nevertheless, surprisingly, there were the only two countries that showed a decline. 

>>CORRECT

One of them was Sweden, which slightly dropped in 2004 and another was Denmark, which roughly halved from 2 million in 1994 to 0.9 million in 2004. 

>>CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114699 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 367
114698 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 950
114697 What is the benefit of eating healthy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2
114696 What is the most famous place for tourists in your country? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 394
114695 Absolutely language affects thought. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114694 Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 445
114693 What is the implication of having an aging population? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 781
114692 What do you think of single adults adopting kids? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1094
114691 Give 5 examples of reptiles you know and you can see in the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114690 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114689 diet ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 637
114688 What is your most valued possession? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2
114687 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 524
114686 Is there a place that you will never visit? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2
114685 wow!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 518
114684 I don\'t want to be comedian ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 570
114683 good habit for our childrens ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 461
114682 my lucky charm? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 407
114681 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 641
114680 Stent Operation ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 500

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04