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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain your answer.

작성자: 류*주
2021-09-24 210

회원님의 영작문

It is my personal opinion but I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
I think my computer is a great computer but it has a lot of limits because it is not that high specification.
If I buy a high specification computer, I can play a vedio game with no any disconnects.
So I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
And I think a lot of vases in my balcony is not neccessary for my house.
In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying to me.
I think just a few vases make my house's balcony more beautiful, but my parents buy more and more vases.
So I think removing some vases is very neccessary to my house for the harmony of my house.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John! :)

I feel the same way too. I badly want to have a computer with great specs and I want to remove unnecessary things in my house was well. Thanks for sharing. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

It is my personal opinion but I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
>> It is my personal opinion that I want to add a computer with high specification in my room. 

I think my computer is a great computer but it has a lot of limits because it is not that high specification.
>>I think my computer is great but it has a lot of limitations because it it doesn't have that much high specs. 

If I buy a high specification computer, I can play a vedio game with no any disconnects.
>> If I buy a computer with high specs, I can play a video game without getting disconnected. 

So I want to add a high specification computer in my room.
>> That is why I want a computer with high specs. 

And I think a lot of vases in my balcony is not neccessary for my house.
>> Another thing is that I think that there are a lot of unnecessary vases in my house. 

In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying to me.
>> In my balcony, there are too many vases so I think it is very annoying.

I think just a few vases make my house's balcony more beautiful, but my parents buy more and more vases.
>> I think that having only a few would be more beautiful but my parents want to have more. 

So I think removing some vases is very neccessary to my house for the harmony of my house
>> So I think removing some vases is necessary to make our house look more harmonious. 

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[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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