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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

20210924

작성자: 조*혜
2021-09-24 282

회원님의 영작문

There are some very good advantages about riding motorcycle and very extremely bad disadvantages as well. First of all, I'd like to say that it was a brilliant idea that I decided to learn how to ride motorcycle. Most of all, it is really fun. Not sitting inside a car, but sitting right on the top of your engine of the vehicle, feeling the air directly is really different from what you can feel inside a car. It really helps to heal myself from daily stress and to feel more happiness. And as I live in a city, it's much more convenient riding a motorcycle than a car especially in rush hour. Because it always has some space to get through. I'm also very glad that I learned motorcycle when I was grown up enough at 34 yrs old. It's when we can be more cautious and careful than when we were in our 20s. I saw some teanagers and young people get serious accident mostly because they didn't watch out more carefully or didn't slow down when they had to. Fun but dangerous at the same time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

There are some very good advantages about riding motorcycle and very extremely bad disadvantages as well. 
>> There are some advantages as well as disadvantages of riding a motorcycle. 

First of all, I'd like to say that it was a brilliant idea that I decided to learn how to ride motorcycle. 
>> First of all, I'd like to say that it was a brilliant idea that I decided to learn how to ride a motorcycle. 

Most of all, it is really fun. 
>> It is really fun.

Not sitting inside a car, but sitting right on the top of your engine of the vehicle, feeling the air directly is really different from what you can feel inside a car. 
>> Not sitting inside a car, but sitting right on top of your vehicle, feeling the air directly, is really different from what you can feel inside a car. 

It really helps to heal myself from daily stress and to feel more happiness.
>> It really helps to relieve my stress and to feel more happiness.

 And as I live in a city, it's much more convenient riding a motorcycle than a car especially in rush hour. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

Because it always has some space to get through.
>> It is because it always has some space to pass through.

 I'm also very glad that I learned motorcycle when I was grown up enough at 34 yrs old. 
>>  I was also very glad that I learned to ride a motorcycle when I was old enough. I was 34 years old. 

It's when we can be more cautious and careful than when we were in our 20s. 
>> It's when we can be more cautious and more careful than when we were in our 20s. 

I saw some teanagers and young people get serious accident mostly because they didn't watch out more carefully or didn't slow down when they had to.
>> I saw some teenagers and other young people who got into serious accidents mostly because they weren't careful or didn't slow down when they had to.

 Fun but dangerous at the same time.
>> Riding a motorcycle is fun but dangerous at the same time.


Hi, Min! Thank you for doing your homework.   Just please observe proper word usage next time. 

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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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