¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-28 852

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my school, there is a rule that all students must wear a school uniform.
But most of my school students, especially second and third grade don't wear the uniform.
And school teachers don't do anything to second and third grade.
But they always talk to first grade students like "You shouldn't have to not wear athe uniform.".
And I think school uniform is not that important and actually it doesn't have any effect.
So I want to make a rule in my school, 'You can wear any clothes in the school.'.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :)

Rules are established to protect the weaker class in the society since they are at a disadvantage if such regulations are broken. When rules are properly set and followed, they provide a stable environment and human co-existence in a community, resulting in peace and order. 

I think your suggestion is good. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my school, there is a rule that all students must wear a school uniform.
>> CORRECT

But most of my school students, especially second and third grade don't wear the uniform.
>> But most students in my school, especially second and third grade, don't wear uniforms. 

And school teachers don't do anything to second and third grade.
>> And the school teacher's don't do anything about it. 

But they always talk to first grade students like "You shouldn't have to not wear athe uniform.".
>> But when it comes to the first graders, they always say that we should wear out school uniforms always. 

And I think school uniform is not that important and actually it doesn't have any effect.
>>I think wearing school uniforms are not that important and it doesn't have any effect to the way we study. 

So I want to make a rule in my school, 'You can wear any clothes in the school.'.
>> So I want to make a rule in my school that students can wear civilian clothes all the time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111226 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111225 what I will good at it ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 417
111224 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111223 Homework 3 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111222 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 3
111221 Homework 2 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111220 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 4
111219 Homework 1 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111218 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111217 People in Healthy Relationships Live longer À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111216 Homework(*^U^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 503
111215 What is your opinion about the light punishment for animal... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111214 How would you influence someone to take the COVID 19 vaccine if... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 422
111213 The Changeable Trend In Real Estate Brokerage È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 5
111212 What\'s your favorite meal to eat on a cold, rainy day? Why? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 420
111211 What body language do you always use. ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111210 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 442
111209 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111208 What do you do when something or someone tries to annoy you? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 375
111207 Healthcare system of Korea is Helpful ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 409

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04