¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Read books.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-28 635

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think people don't read enough books these days? Why or why not? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

Most people read books less than before. As internet developement, people can easily get broad information on the internet. And it is very fast and convenient. Also there are many sensational materials, so we can get addictive as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But read is important not just for getting a knowledges, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore I need to try reading. I have been feeling keenly this necessity. As time goes by without reading, I feel like I get a selfish person who has dissympathy..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for your taking the time to answer the homework question! Here's my comments and suggestions :) Please take a look below: 

People now read books less than before. As the internet develops, people easily get broad information on the internet, and it is very fast and convenient. Also, there are many sensational materials, so we can get addicted to it as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But reading is important not just for getting a knowledge, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore, I need to try reading. I have a keen feeling that this is a necessity. When time passes by without me reading anything, I feel like a become a selfish person who don't feel sympathy. 

--------------

As usual, great content and idea in your answer. Just take note of the corrections as written above. :) I enjoyed reading your answer! I would love to hear book recommendations from you! ^^

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113430 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 206
113429 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 191
113428 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113427 What is the best quality of a leader? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 178
113426 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113425 For Jisun Oral Test 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 215
113424 For Jisun Oral Test 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 218
113423 Music ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 207
113422 Do you think people rely too much on technology nowadays? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113421 How do you loosen up? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113420 slim\'s book À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 3
113419 If i have a spend a time with famous person ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 276
113418 Tell me about your favorite sports. ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113417 It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 304
113416 What are the endangered animals in your country? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 235
113415 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 253
113414 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 223
113413 My favorite restaurant ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 1
113412 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 659
113411 Advertisements of the e-mail À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 175

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04