¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Read books.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-28 595

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think people don't read enough books these days? Why or why not? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

Most people read books less than before. As internet developement, people can easily get broad information on the internet. And it is very fast and convenient. Also there are many sensational materials, so we can get addictive as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But read is important not just for getting a knowledges, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore I need to try reading. I have been feeling keenly this necessity. As time goes by without reading, I feel like I get a selfish person who has dissympathy..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for your taking the time to answer the homework question! Here's my comments and suggestions :) Please take a look below: 

People now read books less than before. As the internet develops, people easily get broad information on the internet, and it is very fast and convenient. Also, there are many sensational materials, so we can get addicted to it as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But reading is important not just for getting a knowledge, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore, I need to try reading. I have a keen feeling that this is a necessity. When time passes by without me reading anything, I feel like a become a selfish person who don't feel sympathy. 

--------------

As usual, great content and idea in your answer. Just take note of the corrections as written above. :) I enjoyed reading your answer! I would love to hear book recommendations from you! ^^

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113038 Beautiful photo to painting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 191
113037 What is your dream car? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 260
113036 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 215
113035 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 0
113034 1019 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 247
113033 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 190
113032 Busy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113031 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 266
113030 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 236
113029 What do you prefer when you\'re studying, a small room, an open... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113028 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113027 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 260
113026 Describe your best friends. How do they look like? What are... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 4
113025 16 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 221
113024 24 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 154
113023 20 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 227
113022 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 206
113021 My hair ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 218
113020 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 215
113019 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04