¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Read books.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-28 634

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think people don't read enough books these days? Why or why not? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

Most people read books less than before. As internet developement, people can easily get broad information on the internet. And it is very fast and convenient. Also there are many sensational materials, so we can get addictive as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But read is important not just for getting a knowledges, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore I need to try reading. I have been feeling keenly this necessity. As time goes by without reading, I feel like I get a selfish person who has dissympathy..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for your taking the time to answer the homework question! Here's my comments and suggestions :) Please take a look below: 

People now read books less than before. As the internet develops, people easily get broad information on the internet, and it is very fast and convenient. Also, there are many sensational materials, so we can get addicted to it as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But reading is important not just for getting a knowledge, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore, I need to try reading. I have a keen feeling that this is a necessity. When time passes by without me reading anything, I feel like a become a selfish person who don't feel sympathy. 

--------------

As usual, great content and idea in your answer. Just take note of the corrections as written above. :) I enjoyed reading your answer! I would love to hear book recommendations from you! ^^

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111670 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 241
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 205
111666 special restaurant Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 219
111665 What age do you want to be a mother? Why? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111664 IELTS writing task1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 5
111663 page 33 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 186
111662 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 205
111661 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 229
111660 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 222
111659 oh my god!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 253
111658 9.6 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111657 HOMEWORK : How do you introduce yourself to someone? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111656 In most of the countries, people prefer to live in a rented... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 281
111655 How often do you eat out? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 260
111654 Donating money to poor people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 207
111653 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 235
111652 0906 yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111651 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 248

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04