¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Read books.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-28 855

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think people don't read enough books these days? Why or why not? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

Most people read books less than before. As internet developement, people can easily get broad information on the internet. And it is very fast and convenient. Also there are many sensational materials, so we can get addictive as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But read is important not just for getting a knowledges, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore I need to try reading. I have been feeling keenly this necessity. As time goes by without reading, I feel like I get a selfish person who has dissympathy..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for your taking the time to answer the homework question! Here's my comments and suggestions :) Please take a look below: 

People now read books less than before. As the internet develops, people easily get broad information on the internet, and it is very fast and convenient. Also, there are many sensational materials, so we can get addicted to it as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But reading is important not just for getting a knowledge, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore, I need to try reading. I have a keen feeling that this is a necessity. When time passes by without me reading anything, I feel like a become a selfish person who don't feel sympathy. 

--------------

As usual, great content and idea in your answer. Just take note of the corrections as written above. :) I enjoyed reading your answer! I would love to hear book recommendations from you! ^^

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110730 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110729 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 418
110728 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 4
110727 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 407
110726 What is the best thing about the internet? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110725 9th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110724 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 535
110723 If you had a business, what kind of business would it be? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110722 How do you think athletes measure their success? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 2
110721 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 4
110720 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 298
110719 Page 13 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 367
110718 Who do you think gossips more, men or women? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110717 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110716 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 396
110715 Cleaning my Room ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 419
110714 If you had a business, what kind of business would it be? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 0
110713 What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 3
110712 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 1
110711 pgae 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-10 394

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04