¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Read books.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-09-28 932

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think people don't read enough books these days? Why or why not? Explain your answer in not more than ten (10) sentences.

Most people read books less than before. As internet developement, people can easily get broad information on the internet. And it is very fast and convenient. Also there are many sensational materials, so we can get addictive as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But read is important not just for getting a knowledges, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore I need to try reading. I have been feeling keenly this necessity. As time goes by without reading, I feel like I get a selfish person who has dissympathy..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeong! 

Thank you for your taking the time to answer the homework question! Here's my comments and suggestions :) Please take a look below: 

People now read books less than before. As the internet develops, people easily get broad information on the internet, and it is very fast and convenient. Also, there are many sensational materials, so we can get addicted to it as well. When we are into that, we tend to keep our distance from books. But reading is important not just for getting a knowledge, but also for our emotion and mental health. It arouses our sensitivity and sympathy. Therefore, I need to try reading. I have a keen feeling that this is a necessity. When time passes by without me reading anything, I feel like a become a selfish person who don't feel sympathy. 

--------------

As usual, great content and idea in your answer. Just take note of the corrections as written above. :) I enjoyed reading your answer! I would love to hear book recommendations from you! ^^

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110181 Writing: How do you respond to customers\' queries about your... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 381
110180 Cut ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110179 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 387
110178 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 586
110177 I like to eat at home. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 606
110176 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 371
110175 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110174 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110173 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 385
110172 How do you control your anger? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110171 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 0
110170 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 553
110169 My parents never force me to \"do this, you have to do this\". ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 360
110168 Do you have food that you hate? If so, what is it and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1
110167 Tuesday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 472
110166 Monday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 499
110165 7/19 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 517
110164 7/20 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 485
110163 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110162 IELTS test question Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04