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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What have you saved these days?

작성자: 류*선
2021-09-29 743

회원님의 영작문

Recently I tried to save my prayer to God. Before my daughter goes to bed, our family has a short worship service every night. And then, before I go to bed, I have a prayer time alone because I yawn for God's love. When I'm tired or I have a hard time, I try to pray. Sometimes during difficult times, I depended on You tube or people. However, over time I became more tired in spiritual. God wants me to close with God through prayer at this time. When I had lived in South Korea, I never felt alone because my family was always with me there. Also, I worked at the church with my coworker. I was the happiest person. But after marriage, my whole life changed, I often felt lonely. I realized that God wants me to come to Jesus. When I'm alone, I confess to God "Give me Jesus." I often praise God loudly in front of my daughter. I want to show her that we must praise as God's children. In addition, I want her to know that we are weak, but God is strong.
It is my only reason to save prayer.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Amen to that, Jane! I am awed and blessed by your essay. Glory to God! Keep sharing Jesus!-Faith-
Recently I tried to save my prayer to God. 
>> Recently, I tried to save my prayer to God. 
Before my daughter goes to bed, our family has a short worship service every night. 
>> CORRECT
OR Before my daughter goes to bed, our family has a regular night worship. 
And then, before I go to bed, I have a prayer time alone because I yawn for God's love. 
>> CORRECT
When I'm tired or I have a hard time, I try to pray. 
>> CORRECT
OR When I'm worn out or I have a tough time, I try to pray. 
Sometimes during difficult times, I depended on You tube or people. 
>> Sometimes during difficult times, I depended on YouTube or people. 
However, over time I became more tired in spiritual. 
>> However, overtime I became more tired spiritually. 
God wants me to close with God through prayer at this time. 
>> God wants me to be closed with Him through prayers at this time. 
When I had lived in South Korea, I never felt alone because my family was always with me there. 
>> CORRECT
Also, I worked at the church with my coworker.
>> Also, I worked at the church with my coworkers.
I was the happiest person. 
>> CORRECT
OR I was euphoric.
But after marriage, my whole life changed, I often felt lonely.
>> But after marriage, my whole life changed, I often feel lonely.
I realized that God wants me to come to Jesus. 
>> CORRECT
When I'm alone, I confess to God "Give me Jesus." 
>> CORRECT
I often praise God loudly in front of my daughter. 
>> CORRECT
I want to show her that we must praise as God's children. 
>> I want to show her that we must praise God as His children. 
In addition, I want her to know that we are weak, but God is strong.
>> CORRECT
It is my only reason to save prayer.
>> It is my only reason to save my prayer.
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