¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to enjoy your job?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-09-30 238

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When we choose the job, we consider various aspects. Even though the salary is one of the most important aspects to consider, it is much more important to choose a job I can enjoy.
Since people ordinarily keep their job for a long time, choosing a job which dose not interest them at all or distress them is a foolish choice which make one's life boring and hard. If we only focus on the salary when choosing the job, the motivation for us to work is only money, thus we might not feel enough accomplishment and the possibility to quit the job is high.

There are also several points which enable one to enjoy their job. We can easily think of the interest on the field or aptitude, but work-like balance or working environment is also important elements for enjoying the job. In conclusion, I want every student to remind those things seriously when considering their job and satisfy at their job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Vicky!

Wow! I really agree with you. You actually have a point there. It's really best to think carefully before choosing the career path that we want to take part in the future because it will greatly affect our every aspect in life.

Thank you for sharing. It's indeed a pretty good answer.

~T. Roanne ^_^

========================================================
Corrections and Suggestions:

When we choose the job, we consider various aspects. 
>> Correct! 
Even though the salary is one of the most important aspects to consider, it is much more important to choose a job I can enjoy.
>> Correct! 
Since people ordinarily keep their job for a long time, choosing a job which dose not interest them at all or distress them is a foolish choice which make one's life boring and hard. 
>>Since people ordinarily keep their job for a long time, choosing a job which does not interest them at all or distress them is a foolish choice which makes one's life boring and hard.
If we only focus on the salary when choosing the job, the motivation for us to work is only money, thus we might not feel enough accomplishment and the possibility to quit the job is high.
>> Correct! 
There are also several points which enable one to enjoy their job.
>> Correct! 
We can easily think of the interest on the field or aptitude, but work-like balance or working environment is also important elements for enjoying the job. 
>> We can easily think of the interest in the field or aptitude, but work-like balance or working environment is also important elements for enjoying the job.
In conclusion, I want every student to remind those things seriously when considering their job and satisfy at their job.
>> In conclusion, I want every student to remember those things seriously when considering their job and satisfy at their job.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112140 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 229
112139 Homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 0
112138 This time, you need make your owncalendar, Tell us the name À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112137 Do you like inviting friends in your house? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 238
112136 ielts task 2 part 2 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 189
112135 ielts task 2 part 1 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 479
112134 My Chuseok holidays. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 0
112133 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 2
112132 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 251
112131 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 246
112130 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 225
112129 What important things you should always check these days? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 248
112128 speaking-3rd ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 247
112127 speaking part2 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-22 196
112126 Grammer review test ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-21 261
112125 Music is vital for me ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-20 242
112124 Make a sentence using the words below: Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-20 0
112123 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-20 203
112122 Make 3 sentences each for EDIBLE and POTABLE. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-20 1
112121 page 20 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-19 271

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04