¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your favorite childhood game and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-30 490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :)

Classic childhood games are timeless for a reason. Not only are they simple to grasp and fun to play, they also teach social skills and can enrich the lives of the young players. I t is because of this that many parents will often look to pass on their favorite childhood games to their offspring.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
>> When I was a first grader elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.

My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
>> My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any when we were kids. 

And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
>> During that time, I was not interested in video games. 

But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
>> But when I was in first grade, I saw my cousin playing it. 

Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
>> Since then, I became interested in the video game and wanted to play it with my brother. 

So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
>> CORRECT

Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.
>> Since then, I've been playing it for 7 years. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114610 What is a successful life? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 447
114609 Have you ever tried commuting in a foreign country? Write about... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 643
114608 12/9 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 435
114607 What do you like about the city you are living in? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 459
114606 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 390
114605 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 571
114604 my homework ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114603 Do you like meeting new people? Why is that? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1030
114602 What do you consider in a restaurant when eating out? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114601 What do you think is the worst collection that a person can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114600 In south korea high school culture ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 382
114599 Especially be careful to language ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 420
114598 Spring:The Season of Life and hope ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 462
114597 breakfast ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 421
114596 Of course. I\'m worry about getting older. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 0
114595 Animals~ ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 387
114594 Where in the world would you most like to go for your next... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 2
114593 Plastic is vital for us ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 311
114592 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 686
114591 How many hours do you sleep? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-09 667

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04