¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your favorite childhood game and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-30 397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :)

Classic childhood games are timeless for a reason. Not only are they simple to grasp and fun to play, they also teach social skills and can enrich the lives of the young players. I t is because of this that many parents will often look to pass on their favorite childhood games to their offspring.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
>> When I was a first grader elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.

My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
>> My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any when we were kids. 

And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
>> During that time, I was not interested in video games. 

But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
>> But when I was in first grade, I saw my cousin playing it. 

Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
>> Since then, I became interested in the video game and wanted to play it with my brother. 

So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
>> CORRECT

Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.
>> Since then, I've been playing it for 7 years. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113870 Black sheep ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 431
113869 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 375
113868 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 402
113867 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 626
113866 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 334
113865 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 599
113864 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 3
113863 My teachers ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 350
113862 What did you do last weekend? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 460
113861 Why do you think couples do not have children in your country... ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 373
113860 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 403
113859 What wishes do you have for your family members? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 354
113858 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 267
113857 How do you think you could reduce stress or prevent stress in... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 290
113856 If you are very busy at work or at school, do you have ways to... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 322
113855 How do you ask for help? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113854 Which among your things is hard for you to throw away? Why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113853 Artic À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113852 What was the last thing you bought for yourself? where did you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 1
113851 Why I like to going to school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 782

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04