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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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What is your favorite childhood game and why?

작성자: 류*주
2021-09-30 213

회원님의 영작문

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John! :)

Classic childhood games are timeless for a reason. Not only are they simple to grasp and fun to play, they also teach social skills and can enrich the lives of the young players. I t is because of this that many parents will often look to pass on their favorite childhood games to their offspring.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
>> When I was a first grader elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.

My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
>> My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any when we were kids. 

And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
>> During that time, I was not interested in video games. 

But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
>> But when I was in first grade, I saw my cousin playing it. 

Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
>> Since then, I became interested in the video game and wanted to play it with my brother. 

So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
>> CORRECT

Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.
>> Since then, I've been playing it for 7 years. 
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