¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your favorite childhood game and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-09-30 299

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! :)

Classic childhood games are timeless for a reason. Not only are they simple to grasp and fun to play, they also teach social skills and can enrich the lives of the young players. I t is because of this that many parents will often look to pass on their favorite childhood games to their offspring.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was a first grade of elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.
>> When I was a first grader elementary school, I started playing Minecraft with my brother.

My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any video games when I was a kid.
>> My parents didn't like video games so they didn't let us to play any when we were kids. 

And actually, in that period, I was not interested about video games.
>> During that time, I was not interested in video games. 

But when I was a first grade of elementary school, I saw that my cousin is playing Minecraft.
>> But when I was in first grade, I saw my cousin playing it. 

Since that, I was interested about the video game, and I wanted to play it with my brother.
>> Since then, I became interested in the video game and wanted to play it with my brother. 

So my parents bought the game because I had a lot of good grades.
>> CORRECT

Since that, I played Minecraft with my brother and I think I played it for 7 years.
>> Since then, I've been playing it for 7 years. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111727 special gift ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111726 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 323
111725 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 3
111724 Thank you teacher:) ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111723 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 374
111722 What do you usually do to celebrate birthdays in your family? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 256
111721 How can you deal with someone who speaks so fast in giving... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 297
111720 meaning of Korean flag ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 268
111719 What do you like about your neighborhood? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 332
111718 Make sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111717 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 228
111716 Writing a book ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 243
111715 what is your favorite subject at school ? why ? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 350
111714 Shine muscat was best sweet fruit i have ate Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 406
111713 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 391
111712 [HOMEWORK] Why do people get upset? Kindly answer in not more... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111711 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 246
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 321
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 295

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04