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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

20210930

작성자: 조*혜
2021-09-30 238

회원님의 영작문

Kids should not allowed to have pet unless their parents are going to take care of the pets after the kids are bored of it any longer. When the kids insist to have a pet, they probably will say anything as they would never be lazy about taking care of the pets, but kids easily get bored and impatient. And what happens? the pet will be no longer taken good care and sometimes abandoned. People who want to have a pet, they should take enough time if they really are going to be responsible for the next 10~15 years example for a dog or a cat.
It gives a lot of joy and happiness but it's living life, so it can be sick and behave annoyingly when you are tired. So the parents are fully ready to take over the pets of their kids, they shouldn't let their kids to have a pet.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Kids should not allowed to have pet unless their parents are going to take care of the pets after the kids are bored of it any longer. 
>> Kids should not be allowed to have pets. Unless their parents take care of the pets when they grow bored, kids should be allowed to do so.

When the kids insist to have a pet, they probably will say anything as they would never be lazy about taking care of the pets, but kids easily get bored and impatient. 
>> When kids insist on having pets, they will probably say that they would never be lazy taking care of them. However, kids are impatient and get bored.
 
And what happens?
>> What will happen if they get bored?

the pet will be no longer taken good care and sometimes abandoned. 
>> The pets will no longer be taken good care of, and sometimes they will end up abandoned.

People who want to have a pet, they should take enough time if they really are going to be responsible for the next 10~15 years example for a dog or a cat.
>> People who want to have pets like dogs or cats should ask themselves if they can be responsible for the next 10 to 15 years. They have to think it through.

It gives a lot of joy and happiness but it's living life, so it can be sick and behave annoyingly when you are tired. 
>> They bring a lot of joy, but they are living things, so they can get sick and behave annoyingly when you are tired. 

So the parents are fully ready to take over the pets of their kids, they shouldn't let their kids to have a pet.
>> So if the parents aren't fully ready to take care of their kids' pets, they shouldn't let them have pets.


Hi, Min!  Thanks for your good work. Please review the corrections carefully.
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