¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-09-30 229

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I never want to live in the desert. I think, it is the most difficult place to survive. I'll cite two reason why it is.
First, I can't drink enough water, because desert has not enough water. Water is vital thing for living things. In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of not enough water.
Second, it's too hot. I hate hot weather, and I have nose disease so dried weather is very harmful. Of course, dried weather has lots of advantages, but desert is too dry.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Homework: What do you think it would be like to live in a desert?

I never want to live in the desert. 
>> I would never want to live in a desert.

I think, it is the most difficult place to survive.
>> I think it is the most difficult place to live in.
OR
>> I think it is difficult to survive in this place.

I'll cite two reason why it is.
>> I'll cite two reasons why.

First, I can't drink enough water, because desert has not enough water. 
>> First, I couldn't drink enough water because a desert doesn't have enough water.

Water is vital thing for living things. 
>> This is a good sentence. 

In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of not enough water.
>> In many survival comic books, the characters suffer because of water scarcity.

Second, it's too hot.
>> This is a good sentence. 

I hate hot weather, and I have nose disease so dried weather is very harmful.
>> I hate hot weather, and I have a nose disorder so dry weather is very harmful for me.

Of course, dried weather has lots of advantages, but desert is too dry.
>> Dry weather has lot of advantages, but the weather in deserts is too dry. 



Hello, Daniel! Thanks for doing your homework. However, be careful with word usage please.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112293 What are your expectations when you go back to China? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112292 Read books. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 574
112291 What would you like to change/improve in yourself? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 353
112290 Writing: How do you feel when you can\'t reach someone\'s phone... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 582
112289 page 32 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 299
112288 Korean imaginary creature: HATAE ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 607
112287 HOMEWORK: What expensive thing would you like to buy? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112286 9/27 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 294
112285 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 266
112284 HOMEWORK: What did you last weekend? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112283 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 195
112282 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112281 Outside ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112280 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 612
112279 [Homework] When was the last time you went to the beach? What... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112278 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112277 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 250
112276 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 238
112275 Do you have garage sales in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112274 Were you afraid of anything when you were a child? What was it? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04