¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and do not want to visit a doctor. Why i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-30 397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet invented. Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provide a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet website because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites. There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease. So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! You missed the class today! Anyway, I guess you're enjoying yourself somewhere? Have a happy long weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet was invented. 
>>> CORRECT
Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provides a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. 
>>> CORRECT
People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. 
>>> People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and it's the fastest way to solve their problems. 
However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites.
>>> However, it can be a dangerous solution because people don't want to visit the hospital due to the wrong information from the websites.
 There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. 
>>>  There are a lot of right and accurate information but non-professionals have written their personal opinions or information based on their previous experience. 
In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease.
>>> CORRECT
 So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
>>>  So, they spend a long time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.
>>> These movements would be a result on the serious problem and harmful for people's health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112709 What part of your body or face is your favorite? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 328
112708 What is good about renting something? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 358
112707 How to greet in Korea. ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 809
112706 Who do you think is the best candidate for president in the next... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 334
112705 Stone is necessary ingredient. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 304
112704 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 339
112703 HOMEWORK: How do you overcome your fears? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112702 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 591
112701 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 417
112700 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 312
112699 Favorite Magical Adventures Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 370
112698 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 295
112697 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 409
112696 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112695 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 383
112694 What kinds of supplements do you not highly recommend? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 416
112693 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 372
112692 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 349
112691 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112690 In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!! ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04