¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and do not want to visit a doctor. Why i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-30 295

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet invented. Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provide a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet website because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites. There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease. So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! You missed the class today! Anyway, I guess you're enjoying yourself somewhere? Have a happy long weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet was invented. 
>>> CORRECT
Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provides a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. 
>>> CORRECT
People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. 
>>> People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and it's the fastest way to solve their problems. 
However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites.
>>> However, it can be a dangerous solution because people don't want to visit the hospital due to the wrong information from the websites.
 There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. 
>>>  There are a lot of right and accurate information but non-professionals have written their personal opinions or information based on their previous experience. 
In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease.
>>> CORRECT
 So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
>>>  So, they spend a long time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.
>>> These movements would be a result on the serious problem and harmful for people's health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 294
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 226
111707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 269
111706 plum ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 486
111705 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111704 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 272
111703 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 253
111702 Do you like asking a lot of questions? Is it actually good to... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111701 0907 _ yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111700 38 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 289
111699 Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 222
111698 Have you been a racist in one way or another? Share your answer... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 365
111697 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 231
111696 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 268
111695 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 299
111694 Visiting Someone At the Hospital ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 263
111693 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111692 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111691 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04