¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and do not want to visit a doctor. Why i

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-09-30 359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet invented. Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provide a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet website because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites. There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease. So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! You missed the class today! Anyway, I guess you're enjoying yourself somewhere? Have a happy long weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The first thing people do is opening the website and ask what they would like to know when they have problem since the internet was invented. 
>>> CORRECT
Google is the most preferable search engine people have used because it provides a lot of information and various opinions from many professionals. 
>>> CORRECT
People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and fast way to solve their problems. 
>>> People, especially, prefer to check their medical problem through internet websites because it is easy to access and it's the fastest way to solve their problems. 
However, it can be dangerous solution because people don't want to visit hospital due to the wrong informations from the websites.
>>> However, it can be a dangerous solution because people don't want to visit the hospital due to the wrong information from the websites.
 There are a lot of right and accurate informations but non professionals have wrote their personal opinions or informations based on their previous experience. 
>>>  There are a lot of right and accurate information but non-professionals have written their personal opinions or information based on their previous experience. 
In addition, most people would like to get confirmation that their symptom would be light disease.
>>> CORRECT
 So, they spend huge time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
>>>  So, they spend a long time to find the solutions that they want to hear from the doctors. 
These movement would be result on the serious problem and harm for people's health.
>>> These movements would be a result on the serious problem and harmful for people's health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111477 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111476 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 288
111475 What benefit do polyamorous relationships have? Share your... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 325
111474 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111473 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111472 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111471 Single-use plastic plates,cutlery, cups may face ban in England,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111470 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 3
111469 23th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 3
111468 What countries do you imagine have the cleanest air? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 323
111467 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 2
111466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 1
111465 planning of America ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 269
111464 Where would you like to visit someday? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 285
111463 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 0
111462 What\'s the most difficult English skill for you? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 358
111461 Homework(*^U^*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 343
111460 What my mom will cook in my birthday ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-01 389
111459 Which among the 10 Finnish innovations has the least use? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111458 what is better to have? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 372

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04