무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Games are not just games

작성자: 김*랑
2021-09-30 314

회원님의 영작문



I think the reason boys swear more than girls is because of games. Most of the boys play games at home or in a PC room, but in this PC room, many people are use it, and it's because they're all doing it together, so there's no choice but to swear a lot. In particular, most of the game played by boys have a lot of violent scenes and there are a lot of games with swords, so there is a lot of possibility of being addicted and tempted. Such violence and addictive do not only occur in games, can also spread to everyday life. The profanity and violence that was colored in online games can spread to things beyond what students do, such as school violence and cigarettes in everyday life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Maria!
(^__^)

I tried my best to simplify your sentences. Some are very long with unnecessary words and some aren't parallel.
Still, you did great in expressing your thoughts regarding the given topic. I am not a fan of video/mobile games, too.
Thank you for finding time to do your homework. Have a good night!

__T. Mayleen :)


I think the reason boys swear more than girls is because of games.
>>> CORRECT
Most of the boys play games at home or in a PC room, but in this PC room, many people are use it, and it's because they're all doing it together, so there's no choice but to swear a lot.
>>> Most boys play games at home or at a PC room, but in PC rooms there are many people playing. They adapt the habit of swearing at their virtual playmates especially when they hear it a lot from others.
In particular, most of the game played by boys have a lot of violent scenes and there are a lot of games with swords, so there is a lot of possibility of being addicted and tempted.
>>> In particular, most of the games played by boys show a lot of violent scenes such as games with swords, so there is a big possibility of them becoming violent.
Such violence and addictive do not only occur in games, can also spread to everyday life.
>>> Such violence and addiction do not only occur in games, but in real life, too.
The profanity and violence that was colored in online games can spread to things beyond what students do, such as school violence and cigarettes in everyday life.
>>> The profanity and violence that's included in online games can spread to things beyond what students do, such as school violence and smoking cigarettes in their everyday life.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
111685 Homework 임*민 완료 2021-09-07 3
111684 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-09-07 1
111683 Do you know of any interesting or unique restaurants in your... 김*임 완료 2021-09-07 510
111682 Men earn 1.6 times more than women in Korea : gender ministry 유*진 완료 2021-09-07 2
111681 Date 민*정 완료 2021-09-07 2
111680 What was the most dramatic scene you\'ve ever witnessed in real... 김*연 완료 2021-09-07 0
111679 If you could have a robot to do your chores, what would you... 노*이 완료 2021-09-07 2
111678 The West 권*희 완료 2021-09-07 428
111677 27th homework 정*영 완료 2021-09-07 1
111676 Should there be strong punishment against racism? 고*희 완료 2021-09-07 312
111675 HOMEWORK FOR 09.07 ye*nhi 완료 2021-09-07 2
111674 What do you think the most common crime in your country is? Do... 선* 완료 2021-09-07 359
111673 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... 여*진 완료 2021-09-07 1
111672 Ninja vs samurai 윤*진 완료 2021-09-07 314
111671 How long do you study before your exam? Please tell me about... 류*선 완료 2021-09-07 456
111670 Homework 양*진 완료 2021-09-07 0
111669 What is the best thing about your neighborhood? 서*영 완료 2021-09-07 2
111668 What kind of people do you like best? 주*석 완료 2021-09-07 357
111667 How do movie reviews affect your interest in a certain movie? 최*정 완료 2021-09-07 377
111666 special restaurant 정*아 완료 2021-09-06 293

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]