¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

why the cellphone is important

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-10-01 268

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The cellphone is very important.
That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't to call for far people.
My second reason is we can't listen a music and listen music is very important from people.
My third reason is we can't to have information easily when we don't have cellphone
Finally, we can use cellphone to many things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

The cellphone is very important.
>> Cellphones are very important. 

That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't to call for far people.
>> That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't call the people who live far from us.

My second reason is we can't listen a music and listen music is very important from people.
>> The second reason is that 
we can't listen to music without it, and listening to music is very important for people.

My third reason is we can't to have information easily when we don't have cellphone
>> The third reason is that we can't easily get information when we don't have one.

Finally, we can use cellphone to many things.
>> Finally, we can use cellphones for many things. 



Hi, Joey! Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Good job! However, please focus on the proper use of articles and prepositions.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112094 HW ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112093 School ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 363
112092 Do you mind rumors? Why or why not? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 286
112091 What programs do you usually watch on TV? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 759
112090 People generally know that the environment is important.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 803
112089 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112088 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112087 What do you like about studying? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 317
112086 North Korea Test-fires Long-Range Cruise Missle, State Media Says À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112085 Tuesday, September 14, 2021 Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 320
112084 35th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112083 mandatory collection of school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 313
112082 Which of your friends or family posts the most entertaining... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 322
112081 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112080 What takes up most of your time? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112079 What factors do you think will maintain your interest in this... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 303
112078 Fairytale ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 271
112077 What situation excite and motivate you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 576
112076 Do you like the environment in your country? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 311
112075 Are you good in replying emails from your clients? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 452

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04