¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

why the cellphone is important

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-10-01 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The cellphone is very important.
That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't to call for far people.
My second reason is we can't listen a music and listen music is very important from people.
My third reason is we can't to have information easily when we don't have cellphone
Finally, we can use cellphone to many things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

The cellphone is very important.
>> Cellphones are very important. 

That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't to call for far people.
>> That is because when we don't have a cellphone, we can't call the people who live far from us.

My second reason is we can't listen a music and listen music is very important from people.
>> The second reason is that 
we can't listen to music without it, and listening to music is very important for people.

My third reason is we can't to have information easily when we don't have cellphone
>> The third reason is that we can't easily get information when we don't have one.

Finally, we can use cellphone to many things.
>> Finally, we can use cellphones for many things. 



Hi, Joey! Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. Good job! However, please focus on the proper use of articles and prepositions.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111875 I like to go back to when I was 6 years old! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 405
111874 Hunted, Haunted 0.0! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 597
111873 Homework 2021.9.1 ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 719
111872 Who is your favorite athlete? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 465
111871 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 445
111870 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 503
111869 please open the pile and revise the passage in the pile~ ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 505
111868 9.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 0
111867 My opinion about eating healthy ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 382
111866 . °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5
111865 What were your favorite foods growing up? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 396
111864 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111863 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 345
111862 Do you think the emotion of hate will ever disappear from humans? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 387
111861 Fish is the hardest animal to take care ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 394
111860 I\'m happy!~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 466
111859 Hope and wish > ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 417
111858 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111857 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 557
111856 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04