¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Magical Adventure

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-10-01 289

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What's the best magical adventure you can think of?
I think it is 's Hogwart battle.
In the Hogwart battle,It was Voldmort vs Hogwart's students and professers.
It is wizard's war so many people died and Harry Potter was almost dead.
But in the end, Voldmort died and Hogwart won.
I think 's Hogwart battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But I think it isn't 'Best'....)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Again, please pay attention to the corrections, including the spelling of some words. Catch you on Monday!

Cheers,
Jean~~



                Theme : [ESSAY] What's the best magical adventure you can think of?


I think it is 's Hogwart battle.
>> I think it is the Hogwarts Battle.

In the Hogwart battle,It was Voldmort vs Hogwart's students and professers.
>> In the Hogwarts Battle, it was a fight between Voldemort vs Hogwarts' students and professors. [Note the spelling of "Voldemort" and "professor".]

It is wizard's war so many people died and Harry Potter was almost dead.
>> It was a wizard's war so many people died and even Harry Potter was also almost killed. 

But in the end, Voldmort died and Hogwart won.
>> But in the end, Voldemort died and Hogwarts won.

I think 's Hogwart battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But I think it isn't 'Best'....)
>> I think the Hogwarts Battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But if you ask me, it isn't the 'Best'....)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113593 What are working conditions like in your country? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 198
113592 How would you describe the difference between a vice and an... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 270
113591 How often do you eat chicken? Do you think chicken is healthy? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 364
113590 Where does most of South Korea\\\'s GDP come from? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113589 What website do you often use and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 746
113588 My favorite website ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 287
113587 If you could change anything in your life, what would it be? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 1
113586 What website do you often use and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 259
113585 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113584 1. What is hoarding? 2. Are you a hoarder? Tell me why. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 216
113583 Kindly answer the following in essay form. What website do you... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 3
113582 Homework from the lesson 11042021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 250
113581 Is there such a thing as \"unbiased reporting? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 182
113580 What are three things that motivate you? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 222
113579 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 189
113578 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 156
113577 What website do you often use and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 0
113576 Tell me about the best vacation you\'ve ever had. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 0
113575 Most Important attitude at work ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 302
113574 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-04 202

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04