¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Magical Adventure

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-10-01 237

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme : [ESSAY] What's the best magical adventure you can think of?
I think it is 's Hogwart battle.
In the Hogwart battle,It was Voldmort vs Hogwart's students and professers.
It is wizard's war so many people died and Harry Potter was almost dead.
But in the end, Voldmort died and Hogwart won.
I think 's Hogwart battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But I think it isn't 'Best'....)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Clair!
Again, please pay attention to the corrections, including the spelling of some words. Catch you on Monday!

Cheers,
Jean~~



                Theme : [ESSAY] What's the best magical adventure you can think of?


I think it is 's Hogwart battle.
>> I think it is the Hogwarts Battle.

In the Hogwart battle,It was Voldmort vs Hogwart's students and professers.
>> In the Hogwarts Battle, it was a fight between Voldemort vs Hogwarts' students and professors. [Note the spelling of "Voldemort" and "professor".]

It is wizard's war so many people died and Harry Potter was almost dead.
>> It was a wizard's war so many people died and even Harry Potter was also almost killed. 

But in the end, Voldmort died and Hogwart won.
>> But in the end, Voldemort died and Hogwarts won.

I think 's Hogwart battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But I think it isn't 'Best'....)
>> I think the Hogwarts Battle is the best magical adventure I can think of!
(But if you ask me, it isn't the 'Best'....)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112342 What food do you like to try to cook? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 221
112341 What\'s your fondest childhood memory? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 2
112340 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112339 What\'s your thought on your country\'s traditional holidays? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112338 present for parents. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 224
112337 Do children learn bad habit at school or at home? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 6
112336 HOMEWORK: What was the happiest moment of your life? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 228
112335 page 40 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 368
112334 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 271
112333 Hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 227
112332 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 237
112331 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 226
112330 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112329 Homework {09/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 220
112328 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112327 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 255
112326 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112325 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 553
112324 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112323 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04