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Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day)

작성자: 김*주
2021-10-03 357

회원님의 영작문

Gaecheonjeol or a National Foundation day is Koreas national holiday. About Gaecheonjeol is starts in a ancient story called Dangun myth. A long a go there was a god. He's name was Hwanin, and there was he's son too. He's name was Hwanwoong. One day hwanwoong was have to go to the people word. Because he have to make peoples word safe and peaceful. It was He's father Hwanin's command. So he went the mountain called Teback mountain. With him, there was a gods of wind, lightning and rain. And they maked the word beautiful. And one more One day one tiger and bear came to Hawnwoong. They said that they wanted to be a human. Hwanwoong said that they have to eat garlic and sook in the cave for a 100days. It was very hard tiger said that he give up. But bear withstanded. And then finally bear became to a very beautiful woman called woongneo. She married with Hawnwoong. And they maked a country called Gojosan and this day is a gaecheonjeol.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seung Ju, 
Thank you for sharing with me the story about your holiday today.  Gaecheonjeol is a public holiday in South and North Korea on 3 October. Also known by the English name National Foundation Day, this holiday celebrates the legendary formation of the first Korean state of Gojoseon in 2333 BC. This date has traditionally been regarded as the date for the founding of the Korean people. Enjoy your holiday:) ~ Teacher Quenny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day)
>> >>Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day)
Gaecheonjeol or a National Foundation day is Koreas national holiday.
>> Gaecheonjeol or National Foundation day is Korea's national public holiday.
 About Gaecheonjeol is starts in a ancient story called Dangun myth. 
>> Gaecheonjeol starts in an ancient story called Dangun myth. 
A long a go there was a god.
>> A long-ago time there was a god.
 He's name was Hwanin, and there was he's son too. 
>>  His name was Hwanin, and there was his son too. 
He's name was Hwanwoong.
>> His name was Hwanwoong.
 One day hwanwoong was have to go to the people word. Because he have to make peoples word safe and peaceful. 
>> One day Hwanwoong had to go to the people's word because he had to make people's word safe and peaceful. 
It was He's father Hwanin's command. So he went the mountain called Teback mountain. 
>> It was his father Hwanin's command so he went to the mountain called Teback mountain. 
With him, there was a gods of wind, lightning and rain. 
>> With him, there was a god of wind, lightning, and rain. 
And they maked the word beautiful. 
>> And they made the word beautiful. 
And one more One day one tiger and bear came to Hawnwoong.
>> And one more day one tiger and bear came to Hawnwoong.
They said that they wanted to be a human. 
>> They said that they wanted to be a human. 
Hwanwoong said that they have to eat garlic and sook in the cave for a 100days. 
>> Hwanwoong said that they have to eat garlic and sook in the cave for 100days. 
It was very hard tiger said that he give up. But bear withstanded. 
>> It was very hard tiger said that he gave up but bear withstood. 
And then finally bear became to a very beautiful woman called woongneo. 
>> And then finally bear became to a very beautiful woman called Woongneo. 
She married with Hawnwoong. 
>> She married Hawnwoong. 
And they maked a country called Gojosan and this day is a gaecheonjeol.
>> And they made a country called Gojosan and this day is a Gaecheonjeol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day)
Gaecheonjeol or a National Foundation day is Koreas national holiday. About Gaecheonjeol is starts in a ancient story called Dangun myth. A long a go there was a god. He's name was Hwanin, and there was he's son too. He's name was Hwanwoong. One day hwanwoong was have to go to the people word. Because he have to make peoples word safe and peaceful. It was He's father Hwanin's command. So he went the mountain called Teback mountain. With him, there was a gods of wind, lightning and rain. And they maked the word beautiful. And one more One day one tiger and bear came to Hawnwoong. They said that they wanted to be a human. Hwanwoong said that they have to eat garlic and sook in the cave for a 100days. It was very hard tiger said that he give up. But bear withstanded. And then finally bear became to a very beautiful woman called woongneo. She married with Hawnwoong. And they maked a country called Gojosan and this day is a gaecheonjeol.
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