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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of business do you think would be successful during this pandemic?

작성자: 김*임
2021-10-05 371

회원님의 영작문

I think delivery business is successful during this pandamic.
Because of this pandemic, many people spend a lot of time at home instead of outdoor activities.
So instead of going to the store to shop directly, they buy most of their stuff online.
For example, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, bags, grocery and food.
All of this is delivered to each individual through a delivery system.
Recently, it was announded in the news that the number of delivery companies is increasing and growing fast,
because of the rapid increase in delivery.
I think this delivery business will not diminish even after the pandemic is over.
Because people won't give up on the convenience of buying online.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Jennifer:)

The impact of COVID-19, particularly on the business world, couldn’t have been predicted but has been an incredible learning experience—especially for aspiring entrepreneurs. Social distancing and remote work have forced traditional in-person businesses like restaurants, brick-and-mortar retail and event services to get creative with solutions and stay viable while also opening a world of opportunities for business owners to meet consumers’ new and evolving needs that is why I think you suggestion is good. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think delivery business is successful during this pandamic.
>> I think delivery services businesses are successful during this pandemic.

Because of this pandemic, many people spend a lot of time at home instead of outdoor activities.
>> Because of this pandemic, many people spend a lot of time at home instead of doing outdoor activities.

So instead of going to the store to shop directly, they buy most of their stuff online.
>>CORRECT

For example, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, bags, grocery and food.
>> For example, they buy clothes, shoes, cosmetics, bags, grocery and food through online. 

All of this is delivered to each individual through a delivery system.
>> All of these are delivered to each individual through a delivery system.

Recently, it was announded in the news that the number of delivery companies is increasing and growing fast,because of the rapid increase in delivery.
>> Recently, it was announced in the news that the number of delivery companies is increasing and growing fast because of the rapid increase in demand. 

I think this delivery business will not diminish even after the pandemic is over.
>> CORRECT

Because people won't give up on the convenience of buying online.
>> It is because people won't stop using this service due to the convenience it gives. 
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