¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¼±
2021-10-05 545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. It's hard to find new people who agree with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jenny!

I appreciate your sending your homework. Please read the corrections below. 
It was lovely meeting you today.  See you when I see you! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. 
>> I like to meet new people because I can experience new things, but in other cases, there are times when it's annoying [to know about the people of Season's Greetings.] [I'm sorry but I don't understand the clause I put in a bracket so I can't edit or correct it. I just edited the first part of the sentence.] 

It's hard to find new people who agree with me.
>> It's hard to find new people who have the same interests or personality as me. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115342 writing2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115341 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115340 Homework 7th, Jan, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1401
115339 What preparation will you do before an interview to make a good... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 664
115338 If you can invent something, what would it be? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1011
115337 Why is sleep important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115336 2022.1.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1039
115335 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 570
115334 If you can cook one food every day, What would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 541
115333 my compostion related to work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115332 I can enjoy these five food in winter! ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 402
115331 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 864
115330 Should we pay attention on the food we eat? Why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115329 Homework (1/6) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115328 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 666
115327 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115326 According to my experience.... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1428
115325 What preparation will you do before an interview to make a good... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 367
115324 Yut game!! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1269
115323 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04