¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¼±
2021-10-05 330

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. It's hard to find new people who agree with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jenny!

I appreciate your sending your homework. Please read the corrections below. 
It was lovely meeting you today.  See you when I see you! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. 
>> I like to meet new people because I can experience new things, but in other cases, there are times when it's annoying [to know about the people of Season's Greetings.] [I'm sorry but I don't understand the clause I put in a bracket so I can't edit or correct it. I just edited the first part of the sentence.] 

It's hard to find new people who agree with me.
>> It's hard to find new people who have the same interests or personality as me. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112306 LGBTQ ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 395
112305 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 395
112304 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 251
112303 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112302 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 2
112301 °úÁ¦ Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 374
112300 Do you like new things? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112299 What have you saved these days? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 809
112298 Holidays ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 446
112297 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112296 Sleep...zzz ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 375
112295 How different do you think is the generation now from the... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 486
112294 What are the purposes of National certificates? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 3
112293 What are your expectations when you go back to China? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112292 Read books. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 714
112291 What would you like to change/improve in yourself? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 385
112290 Writing: How do you feel when you can\'t reach someone\'s phone... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 648
112289 page 32 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 380
112288 Korean imaginary creature: HATAE ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 676
112287 HOMEWORK: What expensive thing would you like to buy? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04