¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¼±
2021-10-05 369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. It's hard to find new people who agree with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Jenny!

I appreciate your sending your homework. Please read the corrections below. 
It was lovely meeting you today.  See you when I see you! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



When I like to meet new people, I can experience new things, and in other cases,There are times when it's annoying to know about the people of Season's Greetings. 
>> I like to meet new people because I can experience new things, but in other cases, there are times when it's annoying [to know about the people of Season's Greetings.] [I'm sorry but I don't understand the clause I put in a bracket so I can't edit or correct it. I just edited the first part of the sentence.] 

It's hard to find new people who agree with me.
>> It's hard to find new people who have the same interests or personality as me. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112194 Holidays ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 312
112193 O.M.G ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 377
112192 Most part of my body:brain ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 333
112191 page 24 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 735
112190 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 896
112189 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 338
112188 Patriarchal Society Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 340
112187 20210924 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 348
112186 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 304
112185 What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 344
112184 What things do you want to add or remove in your house? Explain... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112183 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 2
112182 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 318
112181 Why is it important to pay attention when someone is talking to... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 392
112180 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 413
112179 Friend ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 328
112178 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112177 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 306
112176 you could take a vacation a vacation anywhere in the world for... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 4
112175 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04