¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-10-05 218

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire / 20211005

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Wow! Your writing is very good today. I think you think maturely for your age and that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing your ideas. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


I think it depends on the situation.

>>CORRECT!

Sometimes we need to express our emotions such as anger.

>>CORRECT!

Especially for anger, if we keep suppressing it, one day, it will explode and we might explode in the worst way such as yelling, or even worse, we might destroy objects.

>>CORRECT!

If we suppress our emotions too much, it might damage our mental health too.

>>CORRECT!

Although, there is also a line in anger and we must not cross the line.

>>Although, there is a limit to anger and we must not cross the line.

As long as not crossing the line, we can express anger.

>>As long as we don't cross the line, we can express anger.

But of course, we sure need to express anger not too often.

>>But of course, we have to make sure we don't express anger too often.

My opinions are like above and I will emphasize that sometimes we can express anger but not too often.

>>CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112677 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112676 Can renewable energy replace fossil fuels? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 533
112675 Do you think people should be honest all the time? Why or why... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 545
112674 Why do some people invite others to visit their house ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112673 What is the importance of being a good listener? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112672 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 210
112671 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 214
112670 What do you like to do outside of work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 277
112669 How can you become a successful dentist? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3
112668 Is it good to be creative? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112667 What is your dream hospital to work at? Share your thoughts in a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1300
112666 10.07 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112665 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 215
112664 School will be disappeared if there are not teachers. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 422
112663 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 311
112662 ESSAY ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 524
112661 What do you think of Paralympic Games? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 207
112660 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 701
112659 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 221
112658 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 269

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04