¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-10-05 491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire / 20211005

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Wow! Your writing is very good today. I think you think maturely for your age and that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing your ideas. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


I think it depends on the situation.

>>CORRECT!

Sometimes we need to express our emotions such as anger.

>>CORRECT!

Especially for anger, if we keep suppressing it, one day, it will explode and we might explode in the worst way such as yelling, or even worse, we might destroy objects.

>>CORRECT!

If we suppress our emotions too much, it might damage our mental health too.

>>CORRECT!

Although, there is also a line in anger and we must not cross the line.

>>Although, there is a limit to anger and we must not cross the line.

As long as not crossing the line, we can express anger.

>>As long as we don't cross the line, we can express anger.

But of course, we sure need to express anger not too often.

>>But of course, we have to make sure we don't express anger too often.

My opinions are like above and I will emphasize that sometimes we can express anger but not too often.

>>CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114126 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 416
114125 Falling stars ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 458
114124 What¡¯s the best way to pass job interviews? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 543
114123 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114122 Obeying Your parents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 351
114121 What do you think is the best city in South Korea? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114120 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114119 Some people say that \"money makes the world go around.\" Do you... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 433
114118 How do you relieve stress? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 475
114117 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114116 1124 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 907
114115 What are your good and bad habits? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114114 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 609
114113 My salary ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114112 How would you feel if someone is being dishonest to you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114111 Absolutely Seoul :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 362
114110 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 370
114109 \"Death is not a period, but a comma, in the story of life\".... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 398
114108 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 410

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04