¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-10-05 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire / 20211005

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Wow! Your writing is very good today. I think you think maturely for your age and that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing your ideas. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


I think it depends on the situation.

>>CORRECT!

Sometimes we need to express our emotions such as anger.

>>CORRECT!

Especially for anger, if we keep suppressing it, one day, it will explode and we might explode in the worst way such as yelling, or even worse, we might destroy objects.

>>CORRECT!

If we suppress our emotions too much, it might damage our mental health too.

>>CORRECT!

Although, there is also a line in anger and we must not cross the line.

>>Although, there is a limit to anger and we must not cross the line.

As long as not crossing the line, we can express anger.

>>As long as we don't cross the line, we can express anger.

But of course, we sure need to express anger not too often.

>>But of course, we have to make sure we don't express anger too often.

My opinions are like above and I will emphasize that sometimes we can express anger but not too often.

>>CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112471 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 282
112470 What kind of person would be the perfect neighbor? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 2
112469 Self introduction2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112468 Riding a bike À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 3
112467 What are your short-term and long-term goals? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 1
112466 Gaecheonjeol (National Foundation day) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 371
112465 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 252
112464 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 4
112463 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 246
112462 Personality ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 323
112461 Homework 10.3 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 504
112460 If you can be reincarnated, what kind of life would you want on... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 1
112459 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 1
112458 Among those countries you\'ve visited, which is your favorite... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 277
112457 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 1
112456 What makes a person insecure? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 2
112455 33 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-03 402
112454 10.01 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-02 1
112453 Me ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-02 0
112452 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04