¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-10-05 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire / 20211005

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Wow! Your writing is very good today. I think you think maturely for your age and that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing your ideas. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


I think it depends on the situation.

>>CORRECT!

Sometimes we need to express our emotions such as anger.

>>CORRECT!

Especially for anger, if we keep suppressing it, one day, it will explode and we might explode in the worst way such as yelling, or even worse, we might destroy objects.

>>CORRECT!

If we suppress our emotions too much, it might damage our mental health too.

>>CORRECT!

Although, there is also a line in anger and we must not cross the line.

>>Although, there is a limit to anger and we must not cross the line.

As long as not crossing the line, we can express anger.

>>As long as we don't cross the line, we can express anger.

But of course, we sure need to express anger not too often.

>>But of course, we have to make sure we don't express anger too often.

My opinions are like above and I will emphasize that sometimes we can express anger but not too often.

>>CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112937 What do you think we could do better or differently? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-16 638
112936 If you were given a 2-week vacation with some pocket money,... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 447
112935 What question do you want to ask someone in an interview? Answer... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 347
112934 BTS-Coldplay collaboration ranks No.12 on this week\'s Billboard... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 1
112933 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 2
112932 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 2
112931 What to do after retirement. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 354
112930 How do you feel about ordering or making a reservation at a... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 466
112929 France ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 343
112928 Protecting animal=protecting environment ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 307
112927 10.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112926 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 395
112925 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 396
112924 Santiago Pilgrimage ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 357
112923 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 501
112922 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 359
112921 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112920 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 0
112919 First Time Study ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 381
112918 Homework {10/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-15 387

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04