¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-10-05 477

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Claire / 20211005

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!

Wow! Your writing is very good today. I think you think maturely for your age and that's a good thing. Thanks for sharing your ideas. See you tomorrow! ^^

~~Teacher Kate


I think it depends on the situation.

>>CORRECT!

Sometimes we need to express our emotions such as anger.

>>CORRECT!

Especially for anger, if we keep suppressing it, one day, it will explode and we might explode in the worst way such as yelling, or even worse, we might destroy objects.

>>CORRECT!

If we suppress our emotions too much, it might damage our mental health too.

>>CORRECT!

Although, there is also a line in anger and we must not cross the line.

>>Although, there is a limit to anger and we must not cross the line.

As long as not crossing the line, we can express anger.

>>As long as we don't cross the line, we can express anger.

But of course, we sure need to express anger not too often.

>>But of course, we have to make sure we don't express anger too often.

My opinions are like above and I will emphasize that sometimes we can express anger but not too often.

>>CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111438 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 536
111437 22th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111436 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111435 Senses ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 450
111434 On ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111433 page 17 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 451
111432 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111431 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111430 Is it morally right to spend a lot of money on pets, rather than... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111429 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111428 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'refugee\'? °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111427 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 528
111426 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111425 Describe your favorite city in South Korea ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 411
111424 If you were the boss of your own clinic, what amenity or benefit... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 424
111423 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111422 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 443
111421 Kate!!! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 16
111420 What is the goal of your meeting in Seoul tomorrow? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 7
111419 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 393

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04