¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Business item for Pandemic

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-10-06 356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many employed people are suffering from COVID-19.
But some of people will think that the situation is best chance to have a business.
I think the delivery service is good business item.
People have to buy some goods for living, want to eat out.
But they have to meet and see, talk others.
Even they'v already had a vaccine for COVID-19, we have to wear mask for safety.
Nowdays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good same to buy them in the store.
So this delivery service platform is a good business item.
Originally, there were many companies that provided delivery services.
Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and tried to reflect consumers' needs survived.
Same-day delivery, food delivered within 20 minutes.
Like apple company who make cell phones.
It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can live.
thank you

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:)

The impact of COVID-19, particularly on the business world, couldn¡¯t have been predicted but has been an incredible learning experience—especially for aspiring entrepreneurs. Social distancing and remote work have forced traditional in-person businesses like restaurants, brick-and-mortar retail and event services to get creative with solutions and stay viable while also opening a world of opportunities for business owners to meet consumers¡¯ new and evolving needs that is why I think you suggestion is good. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Many employed people are suffering from COVID-19.
>> CORRECT

But some of people will think that the situation is best chance to have a business.
>> But some of people will think that this is the situation to which is best to open a business. 

I think the delivery service is good business item.
>> I think delivery service is a good business.

People have to buy some goods for living, want to eat out.
>> People have to buy some goods for everyday needs or if they want to eat from restaurants. 

But they have to meet and see, talk others.
>> They hesitate because they will be in contact with other people. 

Even they'v already had a vaccine for COVID-19, we have to wear mask for safety.
>> Even if we have the vaccine, we still need to wear a mask. 

Nowdays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good same to buy them in the store.
>> Nowadays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good. It is already similar with the ones we buy at the stores. 

So this delivery service platform is a good business item.
>. So, this delivery service platform is a good business.

Originally, there were many companies that provided delivery services.
>> CORRECT

Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and tried to reflect consumers' needs survived.
Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and supported consumers' needs survived.

Same-day delivery, food delivered within 20 minutes.
>> Now we have same-day delivery services and food that can delivered within 20 minutes. 

Like apple company who make cell phones.
>> It's like the Apple company when they make cellphones, 

It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can live.
>> It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can survive.

thank you
>> °¨»ç ÇØ¿ä :)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111458 what is better to have? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 474
111457 What do you think are the qualities of a good leader? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 361
111456 Writing task: Who is a better cook, your mother or your... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111455 South Korea sends back 1 unidentified Afghan during evacuation :... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111454 13 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 483
111453 I Think a Singapore has cleanest air Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 642
111452 HOME is house with family ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 314
111451 8.31 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111450 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 461
111449 Shakespear\'s invented Words À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111448 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 302
111447 What countries do you imagine have the cleanest air? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 337
111446 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 691
111445 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 297
111444 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 367
111443 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 6
111442 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 338
111441 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 350
111440 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 398
111439 friend ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 327

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04