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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Business item for Pandemic

작성자: 박*협
2021-10-06 414

회원님의 영작문

Many employed people are suffering from COVID-19.
But some of people will think that the situation is best chance to have a business.
I think the delivery service is good business item.
People have to buy some goods for living, want to eat out.
But they have to meet and see, talk others.
Even they'v already had a vaccine for COVID-19, we have to wear mask for safety.
Nowdays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good same to buy them in the store.
So this delivery service platform is a good business item.
Originally, there were many companies that provided delivery services.
Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and tried to reflect consumers' needs survived.
Same-day delivery, food delivered within 20 minutes.
Like apple company who make cell phones.
It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can live.
thank you

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Evan:)

The impact of COVID-19, particularly on the business world, couldn’t have been predicted but has been an incredible learning experience—especially for aspiring entrepreneurs. Social distancing and remote work have forced traditional in-person businesses like restaurants, brick-and-mortar retail and event services to get creative with solutions and stay viable while also opening a world of opportunities for business owners to meet consumers’ new and evolving needs that is why I think you suggestion is good. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Many employed people are suffering from COVID-19.
>> CORRECT

But some of people will think that the situation is best chance to have a business.
>> But some of people will think that this is the situation to which is best to open a business. 

I think the delivery service is good business item.
>> I think delivery service is a good business.

People have to buy some goods for living, want to eat out.
>> People have to buy some goods for everyday needs or if they want to eat from restaurants. 

But they have to meet and see, talk others.
>> They hesitate because they will be in contact with other people. 

Even they'v already had a vaccine for COVID-19, we have to wear mask for safety.
>> Even if we have the vaccine, we still need to wear a mask. 

Nowdays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good same to buy them in the store.
>> Nowadays, service platform is getting better and the quality of foods and goods are very good. It is already similar with the ones we buy at the stores. 

So this delivery service platform is a good business item.
>. So, this delivery service platform is a good business.

Originally, there were many companies that provided delivery services.
>> CORRECT

Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and tried to reflect consumers' needs survived.
> Small delivery companies disappeared, and only companies that reflected and supported consumers' needs survived.

Same-day delivery, food delivered within 20 minutes.
>> Now we have same-day delivery services and food that can delivered within 20 minutes. 

Like apple company who make cell phones.
>> It's like the Apple company when they make cellphones, 

It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can live.
>> It is a world where only the strong and the hard-working can survive.

thank you
>> 감사 해요 :)
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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