¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

School will be disappeared if there are not teachers.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-07 469

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If there are not teachers, school will be disappeared. School is the place that consist of teachers and students. But the important role, teacher is not in the school, the school is not completed. Also, if there are not teachers then we lost the chance to respect other people, and we can't learn from the teachers. So I think that teachers are very important jobs all over the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Thanks for your good work. Please review the corrections carefully. Please study the pattern for the second conditional.


- Teacher Debbie

If there are not teachers, school will be disappeared.
>> If there were no teachers, schools would disappear.

 School is the place that consist of teachers and students.
>>  A school is a place that consists of teachers and students.

 But the important role, teacher is not in the school, the school is not completed. 
>> Teachers play an important role. If they were not in schools, schools wouldn't be complete.

Also, if there are not teachers then we lost the chance to respect other people, and we can't learn from the teachers. 
>> Furthermore, if there weren't teachers, we wouldn't learn to respect other people because we couldn't learn from them.

So I think that teachers are very important jobs all over the world.
>> Therefore, I think being a teacher is a very important job.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112390 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 540
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 258
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 344
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 222
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 235
112385 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 716
112384 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 212
112383 Writing correction -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 267
112382 Crimes ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 259
112381 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7
112380 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 7
112379 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 279
112378 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 243
112377 walk ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112376 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 869
112375 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112374 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112372 Why is there time is diffrence? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112371 09.30 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04