¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-10-08 350

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I already think Korea's delivery service is the best in the world.
We can track the route on their way and know who is delivering it.
However, the system is getting develop, some problems happens.
Because Several companies is sharing whole markets, the delivery fee is getting expensive.
And delivery drivers must take a risk for quick delivery.
In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good way to manage the service from a local government, not a delivery agency by a private company.
And it would be better to have drivers join insurance so that they can deliver it safely.
I hope everyone live safe and happy life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:)

Product delivery services have extended a lot of help to businesses. To put it bluntly, it would be quite impossible to get things from point A to point B without product delivery services, especially now that we¡¯re facing a pandemic. Due to COVID, our movement has been limited to lessen our chances of contracting the virus. It has been very difficult for everyone, and some businesses resorted to closing down because of lack of sustainability and resources to continue. That is why there is the need for improvements. 

PS: Yes, there are a lot of accidents happening so these companies should value their riders. :(

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I already think Korea's delivery service is the best in the world.
>> CORRECT

We can track the route on their way and know who is delivering it.
>> We can track the route they're going through and know who is delivering our order. 

However, the system is getting develop, some problems happens.
>>However, when the system is getting developed, some problems happens.

Because Several companies is sharing whole markets, the delivery fee is getting expensive.
>> It is because there are several companies sharing the same market which makes the delivery fee more expensive. 

And delivery drivers must take a risk for quick delivery.
>> CORRECT 

In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good way to manage the service from a local government, not a delivery agency by a private company.
>> In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good to manage the service from the local government, not by delivery agencies by private companies.

And it would be better to have drivers join insurance so that they can deliver it safely.
>> And it would be better for drivers to have insurances so that they can deliver safely. 

I hope everyone live safe and happy life.
>>I hope everyone will live a safe and happy life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112086 North Korea Test-fires Long-Range Cruise Missle, State Media Says À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112085 Tuesday, September 14, 2021 Claire ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 440
112084 35th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112083 mandatory collection of school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 403
112082 Which of your friends or family posts the most entertaining... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 476
112081 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112080 What takes up most of your time? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112079 What factors do you think will maintain your interest in this... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 365
112078 Fairytale ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 390
112077 What situation excite and motivate you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 697
112076 Do you like the environment in your country? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 466
112075 Are you good in replying emails from your clients? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 613
112074 Tell me about a challenge or conflict you¡¯ve faced at work (or... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 347
112073 What was your most memorable trip? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 377
112072 What are the popular kinds of diet you\'ve heard of? ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 399
112071 speaking part-2 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 6
112070 Which one do you think is better, being a boss or being a... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 528
112069 It will be really really... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-16 390
112068 Popcorn, movie theaters, Marvel, and night ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-16 425
112067 How do you handle stress? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-16 496

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04