¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-10-08 371

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I already think Korea's delivery service is the best in the world.
We can track the route on their way and know who is delivering it.
However, the system is getting develop, some problems happens.
Because Several companies is sharing whole markets, the delivery fee is getting expensive.
And delivery drivers must take a risk for quick delivery.
In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good way to manage the service from a local government, not a delivery agency by a private company.
And it would be better to have drivers join insurance so that they can deliver it safely.
I hope everyone live safe and happy life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:)

Product delivery services have extended a lot of help to businesses. To put it bluntly, it would be quite impossible to get things from point A to point B without product delivery services, especially now that we¡¯re facing a pandemic. Due to COVID, our movement has been limited to lessen our chances of contracting the virus. It has been very difficult for everyone, and some businesses resorted to closing down because of lack of sustainability and resources to continue. That is why there is the need for improvements. 

PS: Yes, there are a lot of accidents happening so these companies should value their riders. :(

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I already think Korea's delivery service is the best in the world.
>> CORRECT

We can track the route on their way and know who is delivering it.
>> We can track the route they're going through and know who is delivering our order. 

However, the system is getting develop, some problems happens.
>>However, when the system is getting developed, some problems happens.

Because Several companies is sharing whole markets, the delivery fee is getting expensive.
>> It is because there are several companies sharing the same market which makes the delivery fee more expensive. 

And delivery drivers must take a risk for quick delivery.
>> CORRECT 

In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good way to manage the service from a local government, not a delivery agency by a private company.
>> In order to improve Korea's delivery service, I think it is a good to manage the service from the local government, not by delivery agencies by private companies.

And it would be better to have drivers join insurance so that they can deliver it safely.
>> And it would be better for drivers to have insurances so that they can deliver safely. 

I hope everyone live safe and happy life.
>>I hope everyone will live a safe and happy life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111736 What is the best place in Florida you\'ve been to when you lived... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111735 What are your plans for tomorrow? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 328
111734 Please compare the healthcare system of America and South Korea. ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 433
111733 How would you describe a perfect weekend? ¼­*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 373
111732 What do you think of the job opportunities available in Korea? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 0
111731 Homework ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 1
111730 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 475
111729 If you could change any aspect of your personality, what would... ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 424
111728 What do you think will make man go extinct? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111727 special gift ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111726 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 532
111725 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 3
111724 Thank you teacher:) ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111723 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 560
111722 What do you usually do to celebrate birthdays in your family? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 428
111721 How can you deal with someone who speaks so fast in giving... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 397
111720 meaning of Korean flag ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 408
111719 What do you like about your neighborhood? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 455
111718 Make sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111717 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 302

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04