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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be improved? Explain your answer.

작성자: 류*주
2021-10-08 385

회원님의 영작문

The delivery services in South Korea are really great but there are some things to be improved.
First, the companies of the delivery services take too much profit.
They have to take just a little profit about the delivery services but they took the profit too much.
So some restaurants don't like the delivery services because they take too much profit.
Second, the riders make too loud noise so it makes people very angry.
It is unneccessary but some of drivers make too loud noise.
So it makes other drivers angry and I can hear the sound in my house so it makes me very angry.
The delivery services in South Korea are really great because it is really fast and quik.
But there are some problems about it so I think the delivery companies have to improve it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John:)

Product delivery services have extended a lot of help to businesses. To put it bluntly, it would be quite impossible to get things from point A to point B without product delivery services, especially now that we’re facing a pandemic. Due to COVID, our movement has been limited to lessen our chances of contracting the virus. It has been very difficult for everyone, and some businesses resorted to closing down because of lack of sustainability and resources to continue. That is why there is the need for improvements. 

PS: I think you accidentally sent 2 homeworks with the same topic hehe. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

The delivery services in South Korea are really great and brilliant.
>> The delivery services in South Korea are great and brilliant.

But there are some cons about it.
>> But there are some cons to it as well. 

First, the delivery company take too much profit about it.
>> First, delivery companies take too much profit from it.

If we order delivery service about a food, the delivery company take some profit in the profit of food.
>> If we order food delivery service, delivery companies take a lot of profits from it. 

And most of the companies are taking too much profit.
>> Most of them do this. 

Second, riders make a noise very loudly.'
>> Second, riders make a a lot of noise. 

They don't need to make a noise, but they make so many noises.
>>They don't need to make noise, but they still do..

So I think the delivery services in South Korea must improve those things quikly.
>> So I think the delivery services in South Korea must improve regarding those things quickly.

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