¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

why I don\'t have long hair

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-10-11 464

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will don't have a long hair.
That is because when I have a long hair, I'm very hot in summer
My second reason is when we have short hair, we can easily to washy my hair.
My third reason is when we have short hair, we can easy to wear the hat.
Finally, I can easy to cut my hair.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Joey!  The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Good job! Please take note of the corrections.

- Teacher Debbie


I will don't have a long hair.
>> I don't want to have long hair.

That is because when I have a long hair, I'm very hot in summer
>> That is because when I have long hair, I feel very hot in summer.

My second reason is when we have short hair, we can easily to washy my hair.
>> When we have short hair, we can easily wash our hair.

My third reason is when we have short hair, we can easy to wear the hat.
>> Moreover, we can easily wear hats.

Finally, I can easy to cut my hair.
>> Furthermore, it's easy to cut short hair.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111263 page 5 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 401
111262 HOMEWORK: Why is honesty important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 486
111261 Describe how you get when you¡¯re moody in a few sentences. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111260 Do you always believe the media? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 2
111259 8/25: My Money~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 443
111258 Famous place of Seoul ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 493
111257 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 500
111256 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 502
111255 4th ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 1
111254 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 6
111253 61 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 476
111252 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 402
111251 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 0
111250 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 369
111249 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 649
111248 Writing on skype ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 445
111247 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 468
111246 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 531
111245 Homework {08/25} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 475
111244 18th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-25 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04