¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young adult\'s most hardest thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-12 554

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
Most hardest point is find my self.
When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
Just my opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Being a young adult is probably some of the best years of your life, but equally the most stressful, right? Young adults experience different kinds of stress. It's just a matter of how you are going to manage it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
>> I think this topic is for me because I am a young adult.

Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
>> Young adults are very ambiguous to almost anything. 

Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
>> Adults usually tell us that we don't have the passion and patience. 

And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
>> And children look at us like we are very cool. 

But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
>> In reality, we are often confused. We make changes constantly and don't fix things right away. 

Most hardest point is find my self.
>> The hardest part is finding one's self. 

When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
>> When I loose my ego, it's like I am not existing in the world anymore.

Just my opinion.
>> This is just my opinion. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116282 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116281 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 879
116280 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1379
116279 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 762
116278 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116277 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 758
116276 How can you help protect the environment and enhance animal... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116275 What do you do to stay healthy? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 5
116274 Describe your favorite food. What ingredients are in it? Why is... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 668
116273 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116272 If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be and... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1096
116271 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116270 Do you think there will be a lot of unemployed people when we... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116269 Terrible olympic:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 704
116268 What is a bus station? / Where¡¯s the nearest bus station in... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 497
116267 Definitely Philippines :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 886
116266 How do different types of weather affect you emotions? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116265 My best day. Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 562
116264 How does free time activities differ now compared with the past? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 704
116263 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 881

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04