¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young adult\'s most hardest thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-12 222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
Most hardest point is find my self.
When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
Just my opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Being a young adult is probably some of the best years of your life, but equally the most stressful, right? Young adults experience different kinds of stress. It's just a matter of how you are going to manage it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
>> I think this topic is for me because I am a young adult.

Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
>> Young adults are very ambiguous to almost anything. 

Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
>> Adults usually tell us that we don't have the passion and patience. 

And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
>> And children look at us like we are very cool. 

But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
>> In reality, we are often confused. We make changes constantly and don't fix things right away. 

Most hardest point is find my self.
>> The hardest part is finding one's self. 

When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
>> When I loose my ego, it's like I am not existing in the world anymore.

Just my opinion.
>> This is just my opinion. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112650 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 179
112649 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 264
112648 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 0
112647 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 219
112646 Homework: Do you think you are healthy? Why do you say so? Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 198
112645 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 183
112644 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 184
112643 Can you tell me about a goal you have? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112642 Is this sentence correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 237
112641 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 195
112640 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 195
112639 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 183
112638 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 522
112637 Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 232
112636 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112635 Amusement park ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 212
112634 Do you consider yourself a creative person? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112633 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112632 \"Beauty is only skin deep,\" What do you think this means? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 231
112631 Korea\'s renewable enery too expensive, shunned by private... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04