¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young adult\'s most hardest thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-12 359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
Most hardest point is find my self.
When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
Just my opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Being a young adult is probably some of the best years of your life, but equally the most stressful, right? Young adults experience different kinds of stress. It's just a matter of how you are going to manage it. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think this topic for me, because I am a young adult.
>> I think this topic is for me because I am a young adult.

Young adults, We are very ambiguous of almost part.
>> Young adults are very ambiguous to almost anything. 

Old adults tell us, we don't have so much passion and patience.
>> Adults usually tell us that we don't have the passion and patience. 

And young student tell us you look so already grow up cool.
>> And children look at us like we are very cool. 

But the present, we got confused, change many thing everyday and we don't have any fix thing.
>> In reality, we are often confused. We make changes constantly and don't fix things right away. 

Most hardest point is find my self.
>> The hardest part is finding one's self. 

When I loose my ego, I am not existence in the world anymore.
>> When I loose my ego, it's like I am not existing in the world anymore.

Just my opinion.
>> This is just my opinion. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112694 What kinds of supplements do you not highly recommend? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 390
112693 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 340
112692 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 348
112691 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112690 In order to improve Korea\'s delivery service!! ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 297
112689 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112688 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 379
112687 When was a time your followed a trend? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112686 Cats ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 466
112685 why I will become to taller ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 359
112684 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 349
112683 Do you find politics boring? What makes it boring? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 330
112682 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 2
112681 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112680 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 3
112679 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 894
112678 I forgot to cancel today¡¯s class.. È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 481
112677 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 0
112676 Can renewable energy replace fossil fuels? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 749
112675 Do you think people should be honest all the time? Why or why... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 770

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04