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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you like most about your culture?

작성자: 선*
2021-10-14 439

회원님의 영작문

What I like most about our culture is On-dol which heats the surface of the floor in the house. On the floor, pipelines are laid beneath the floor in the room and hot water goes around to heat the room. Soon whole the floors in the room are heated and then that makes me feel warm and cozy. So in winter, when the temperature is below zero, it’s great to stay home with any hot drink. At night, we (or now, some of them, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, and heated surfaces have me keep warm and sleep like timber. Nowadays, we have beds in the house, and so don’t have a chance to consider how great we have On-dol from the past. To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug to put on the bed for heating the mattress. Once anybody stays at On-dol in winter, they are not easy to go back to bed to sleep. If you have any chance to experience this culture, never miss it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sun Jung!  You have answered the question appropriately. You were able to share a lot about Korea's heating system. I will definitely try it when I visit Korea.

- Debbie



What I like most about our culture is On-dol which heats the surface of the floor in the house.
>> What I like most about our culture is the on-dol which heats the surface of the floor in a house.
OR
>> What I like most about our culture is the on-dol which heats the houses' floor surfaces.

On the floor, pipelines are laid beneath the floor in the room and hot water goes around to heat the room.
>> There are pipelines laid beneath the room's floor, and hot water goes around to heat the room.

Soon whole the floors in the room are heated and then that makes me feel warm and cozy. 
>> Soon the whole floor in the room is heated, then that makes me feel warm and cozy.

So in winter, when the temperature is below zero, it’s great to stay home with any hot drink. 
>> This is a good sentence.

At night, we (or now, some of them, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, and heated surfaces have me keep warm and sleep like timber.
>> At night, we (or now, some of us, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, while heated surfaces keep us warm. It helps us sleep like a log.

 Nowadays, we have beds in the house, and so don’t have a chance to consider how great we have On-dol from the past. 
>>  Nowadays, we have beds in the house, so we don’t get to appreciate how great the ondol is.

To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug to put on the bed for heating the mattress. 
>> To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug . We put it on the bed to heat the mattress.

Once anybody stays at On-dol in winter, they are not easy to go back to bed to sleep. 
>> Once anybody tries the on-dol in winter, it won't be easy for him to go back to bed to sleep. 

If you have any chance to experience this culture, never miss it.
>> This is a good sentence. 
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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