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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you like most about your culture?

작성자: 선*
2021-10-14 434

회원님의 영작문

What I like most about our culture is On-dol which heats the surface of the floor in the house. On the floor, pipelines are laid beneath the floor in the room and hot water goes around to heat the room. Soon whole the floors in the room are heated and then that makes me feel warm and cozy. So in winter, when the temperature is below zero, it’s great to stay home with any hot drink. At night, we (or now, some of them, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, and heated surfaces have me keep warm and sleep like timber. Nowadays, we have beds in the house, and so don’t have a chance to consider how great we have On-dol from the past. To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug to put on the bed for heating the mattress. Once anybody stays at On-dol in winter, they are not easy to go back to bed to sleep. If you have any chance to experience this culture, never miss it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sun Jung!  You have answered the question appropriately. You were able to share a lot about Korea's heating system. I will definitely try it when I visit Korea.

- Debbie



What I like most about our culture is On-dol which heats the surface of the floor in the house.
>> What I like most about our culture is the on-dol which heats the surface of the floor in a house.
OR
>> What I like most about our culture is the on-dol which heats the houses' floor surfaces.

On the floor, pipelines are laid beneath the floor in the room and hot water goes around to heat the room.
>> There are pipelines laid beneath the room's floor, and hot water goes around to heat the room.

Soon whole the floors in the room are heated and then that makes me feel warm and cozy. 
>> Soon the whole floor in the room is heated, then that makes me feel warm and cozy.

So in winter, when the temperature is below zero, it’s great to stay home with any hot drink. 
>> This is a good sentence.

At night, we (or now, some of them, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, and heated surfaces have me keep warm and sleep like timber.
>> At night, we (or now, some of us, I am not sure) sleep on the floor, which is one of our cultures, while heated surfaces keep us warm. It helps us sleep like a log.

 Nowadays, we have beds in the house, and so don’t have a chance to consider how great we have On-dol from the past. 
>>  Nowadays, we have beds in the house, so we don’t get to appreciate how great the ondol is.

To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug to put on the bed for heating the mattress. 
>> To heat the room, we need to buy more heating equipment, such as an electricity rug . We put it on the bed to heat the mattress.

Once anybody stays at On-dol in winter, they are not easy to go back to bed to sleep. 
>> Once anybody tries the on-dol in winter, it won't be easy for him to go back to bed to sleep. 

If you have any chance to experience this culture, never miss it.
>> This is a good sentence. 
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HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
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대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]